Name

Sovannairand Kay

Community/organisation

President, Khmer Community of NSW Inc.

I. My life prior to the Pol Pot Communist regime

I was born in Phnom Penh capital of Cambodia. My father was the postmaster and my mother was the schoolteacher. I am the third of eight children. I have one younger sister.

Education

My secondary education was completed at Khmer English High School (the only school that used English as the second language). I then commenced at Phnom Penh University, studying in the Faculty of Letters and Humanities of Science, for Bachelor of Art Degree. My two older brothers were married, and my father was forcing me into an arranged marriage with my cousin. My father took no notice when I appealed against marriage to my cousin, because it was and still is the custom for daughters to obey parents. I told my father in an all night discussion, that if he made me fulfill his wishes, I would honor his demand and marry my cousin, but I knew I would never live with him. The feelings I had for my cousin were like those I have for my brothers. My father made all of the wedding preparations, printed invitations, and wine and a new car were purchased. During February 1975 my father realized that war was impending, and he changed his mind about my wedding and as I was the highest educated family member, new arrangement were made for me to fly to France. My passport was ready but Communist shelling made it impossible for planes to land, thus I did not leave.

My father’s philandering eventually led to mother suffering a mental breakdown, and her health generally deteriorated. She was later given electrical shock treatment, which aggravated her condition.

In the year 1975 I was in my final year of study when the Pol Pot Communist Regime took place, throwing the lives of all into turmoil. I was three months short of completing my Degree.

On April 14 th 1975 the Communists had entered the city, and my family less three brothers had gathered at the Phnom Penh Hotel, where all the International Red Cross members were billeted pending assisting wounded. The Communists had cleared hospitals of patients and staff. Due to my English speaking I was able to assist doctors to care for wounded soldiers and civilians, who had been at gun-point, ejected from the Hospital. My father knowing that my three younger brothers had stayed at home looking after the house, went home to see them. Later on we were forced to travel North while my father and brothers went South.We have never heard from any of them since that time.

A brief outline of Cambodian history, starting with the end of French rule at WW II

When I was born December 1950, Prince Sihanouk ruled Cambodia. Sihanouk after declaring Cambodia as a neutral country rejected assistance offered from USA , against Communist North Vietnam. Sihanouk made the wrong choice and allied with China. General Lon Nol and Sihanouk’s uncle staged a coup d’etat and ruled Cambodia as a republic, with US support. With the defeat of the USA in North Vietnam, the Communist Khmer Rouge leader Pol Pot lied to the people saying that he will work with Sihanouk and chase America out of Cambodia. Pol Pot was clever, he used the popularity of Sihanouk with the Khmer people, and took control of Cambodia and Sihanouk was imprisoned under house arrest.

II. My life under Communist Pol Pot regime

In April 1975 the whole country was evacuated; city people were forced to travel out of the city to the Northern part of Phnom Penh. My father and three brothers who I have never seen since, were forced travel in a southerly direction from Phnom Penh. I saw thousands of corpses of soldiers and civilians in those first few days. The northern part of Phnom Penh was destroyed by fires, lit by the Khmer Rouge.

At that stage there was no law, Communist guns did all the talking, I could not ask for us to go South with my father, we would have all been shot. Currency was useless; people traded valued items gold, and clothes, for food.

Following two months of travelling, the Angkar = Communist Administration forced us to live in villages around 200 km from the capital city. We city people were treated as second class citizens and lived in animal shelters. People were stripped of their belongings, were forced to perform hard labor in farms for 12 hours during the day followed by 4 hours of work at night. We were forced to work hard without enough food and many became sick and others died. Our focus was survival. My sister, my brother, my sick mother and I struggled to carry out this manual hard work, digging dams, planting rice, clearing heavy forest to grow potatoes etc. without any rest. Our brains forgot completely about health matters, staying alive became our priority. I believe Kosovo and East Timor refugees suffered the same impact. We all starved; people ate whatever they could, raw rice with skin, other vegetables, or plants except grass. My mother suffered from a mental disorder and severe depression, because of her missing her husband and 3 sons, living a miserable life, without health care and proper food. I was fortunate in meeting an old monk, who advised me to give mum natural fruit as a tranquilizer medicine. The fruit was poisonous and if eaten whole would cause death. The old monk told that mum should eat a small section of the fruit daily. Mum did this and it allowed her to sleep and relax. It was a risky operation, and I had to make certain that mum only ate a small section each day.

God was on our side; we met a farmer, who with his ox cart was preparing to collect firewood, which he had cut before. As we were settling down for the night, near where he had the wood, I saw that he was tired and invited him to rest and eat with us. Our appearance and manner told the farmer that were from the city, probably students, who would be killed by the Khmer Rouge, as was his family. He advised us that to survive in the Communist regime we must hide our true identity, and act as simple country people. We did this, and pretended that we could not count nor read. On a daily basis, we were tested by Khmer Rouge as to whether we were educated.

Survival was on a day to day basis, and it was extremely hard. When our stomach was crying out for food all the time, the last thing you think of is your health. My mother, my sister, and my brother became very ill; I had very bad malaria, and my 9 years old niece and 2 month old nephew died from dysentery due to malnutrition. Those who survived the Pol Pot time for nearly 4 years know what hell is like.

My family was asked to move to four different places. We were told that food would be available at these new places. Sometimes at midnight we were asked to move without any reasoning.

Some people killed themselves, because they couldn’t cope with starving and deep depression. Every week I saw trucks filled with people travelling from one place to another place. I always dreamed that my exams were failed. Initially people could stay with their family members as a working unit, each had separate tasks. My mother looked after all the children, and at the same time made thatch for use in cottages. My job was to plant rice, clear forest, plant potatoes and to dig dams. During rice season was when we planted rice, and after harvest we would clear forest to plant potatoes. Cambodia traditionally farmed using heritage irrigation systems, however the Communists made us irrigate a different way, copied from China. We were used to small individual paddocks but the Chinese way was to plant much larger paddocks that were unsuitable for our work or curved geographical land formation. The Angkars purpose was to kill the population, which they did two distinct ways. Firstly any one who had cheated or broken Angkar rules would be killed in front of the public as a means of suppression, usually young Khmer Rouge would kill by striking the victim with an axe. The other way of killing was to work people to death with hard work for nineteen hours per day and minute food for example ten grains of rice with watering. The Angkar taught that sick people were pretending and were in fact against the Angkar. Frequently the Angkar arranged meetings where we would be asked to assess each other’s activities at work.

They divided the population into two groups. Those from the city, as second class citizens, and farmers from the countryside who were treated much better. They were in fact regarded as our landlords, and boss. They watched us closely, and reported anything they suspected to the Angkar. Looking back, entire families disappeared often when they were really sick. All real proper hospitals were closed, and village schools were used as primitive hospitals, with no drugs, doctors or facilities. People were injected with coconut liquid and then other doctors performed operations in mosquito nets.

Those who had academic backgrounds were questioned about their past, and they were told the Angkar needed qualified people to help them. Nearly every week a list of intellectuals was made and they were taken to a centre from where trucks would make them disappear, presumably mass slaughtered.

I could only visit my mother maybe three days in a year. I missed her, my brothers and sister so much. During my visiting she was so glad to see that I had survived, her advice was keep working in order to be alive. Sometimes I saw her tears dropping, when I looked at her she turned her face away, and asked me how is your farming job. I told her fine, I became a very strong farmer now. I did not want her to be worried about me nor my sister or brother. We were unable to discuss or talk at nighttime because the Communist spies were everywhere at night. Three days with my mother was so precious to me, we only communicated through each other eyes. I did not want to leave my mother but I had duties to do, like my brother and my sister. When I met my sister I always cut her hair very short like a boy because of head lice. I had taken the role of both father and mother to my younger brother and sister. Through necessity I managed our meagre food, for example we buried a tin of rice in the ground under our thatched cottage. This was kept for a rainy day and was against all Angkar rules, and would cause us to be in great trouble if it were ever found. At times the Angkar would say there was no food for say up to a week. This is when we cautiously used our secret reserve. Medicines were not used but we were allowed to boil traditional medicine, from leaves and roots etc and this is how we could conceal the rice cooking although my brother and sister always kept guard.

Around April 1979 I was asked to work at the rice mill. It was a very hard job, from 6am to 1pm; 30 minutes lunch then worked all afternoon till 7 or 8pm. Then one-hour rest and started again till midnight. At night they give me a radio to look after, when everyone was sleeping I tuned to the Voice of America. I heard there would be some changes in the future. That made me more excited, I hoped I could return to my old home. Later I met my brother who was sent to stay at the centre, with some other youths in order to work. I told my brother that things might be changed by the end of the year, so I did not want him to be away. Luckily he was so sick and had very a high temperature and malaria. He was asked to stay behind waiting for the second troops. When I saw the opportunity I had asked my supervisor to keep my brother to look after cows and grow vegetables for our rice-milling group. When he saw my brother was very pale and not strong enough, he decided to keep my brother as I requested. Sometimes I asked my team leader if could I visit my mother. I told my mother that we must be aware that at the end of the year we might have the chance to return to Phnom Penh City. My mother was so happy and kept smiling. While we were visiting my mother I heard lots of trucks full of Vietnamese soldiers, tanks were everywhere. Then the new announcement from the village that people can return to their village. Then we decided to collect some rice and travelled along the road to Phnom Penh.

III. My life after the Pol Pot regime

In December 1979 the Khmer Government backed by the Communist Vietnamese ousted Pol Pot and his gang, and took over the country. Returning to Phnom Penh I wished to meet my father, brothers and others, but there was no hope at all. With my English speaking background I was fortunate in being offered a job as a room service person in the morning, and English radio announcer in the afternoon, just to earn enough food for my sick mother and my family to survive on. I asked to go back and live at my parents’ house but the Government refused. My brother gained employment with the Delivery Company, my sister went back to school. Money was not used yet.

A year later the director general of the radio station attempted to rape me and forced me to become his 3 rd wife, I refused. The next day I was locked up without sentence for 2 years and 18 days at T3 prison in Phnom Penh. My mother did not know where I was and in her mental state, which had returned, she went to the radio station, where I had worked demanding to see me. She went nearly every day, and her health deteriorated. The Communist Police tortured her by burning her with cigarettes. At this time mum, having no support from my father or me really suffered and sometimes walked naked in public.

IV. Life in prison

The following day at 4pm a jeep with soldiers arrived at the radio station and I was arrested and taken to T3 prison. I was stripped of my clothes and remaining jewelry, which I was told, would be returned to me when I was released. As I had no solicitor, and was never sentenced, I had no idea of when I would be released.

During questioning I was asked to confess that I had worked against the Government, and to be careful of what I said, as I was like a bird in a cage, and could be killed at any time.

In prison I suffered severe depression, because the impact of the unjust treatment compounded, I felt distressed and hopeless and thought of suicide many times. My mother’s mental illness and my care for her and my family kept me alive. I could not sleep, could not eat for many days. My malaria came back; I became very thin and very pale, because of the dark room, day and night. I have seen starving prisoners eating anything including pig food. Some died due to sickness and lack of medicine. I must tell you that the greatest penalty is the deprivation of liberty. Everyday I always waited for the key to open the door for me to have a wash. One day inside was so long, like a thousand years. I had no idea, when I would be released. I never saw my mother or my relatives. The food was terribly dirty, smelly rice and some dirty salt were served twice daily. A year later, I was signed to increase my imprisonment by another year; because I did not report a cellmate who sang every night for the prisoners.

I did not commit any crime at all, yet there I was, locked in a notorious prison with other innocents who also did not deserve the terrible treatment which we endured, such as loss of liberty, no sentence, no legal representation. Some nights I would dream, beautiful dreams of freedom, family, loved ones and a beautiful journey. This and God helped to sustain me. After two years without sentence, of further hard labor including cooking for prisoners, sewing prisoner uniforms, to a tight schedule, I was asked to spy on a cellmate who was locked with her ten years old daughter. We both suspected each other and finally discussed our situation and became good friends. I had the opportunity to teach her daughter to read and write Khmer language. When I was incarcerated, the prison population was around one hundred. On my release the number had increased to many thousands.

I must thank Amnesty International who wrote a letter to release me. I was released in January 1982. The terrible time I had suffered forced me to escape as a refugee to the Thai border with my sick mother, brother, sister and cousin. I believe we all suffered in various degrees, and the decision to leave our beloved homeland, and our loved ones, was not an easy task but there was no choice.

V. Life in the Thai Refugee Camp

Like other refugees, I must thank the United Nations High Commissioner and people from all over the world including Australia for providing such a great service for refugees over many years. I had three different jobs. In the morning I worked as the radio operator, afternoon with Children Stimulation Centre (helping disabled children) and taught English to new refugees in the evening. That was the best opportunity for me to help all manner of people. Sometimes I helped the unaccompanied women’s centre with their English classes.

They provided us with nutritious food, Health Services, English Classes, Job Training and Screening Opportunity to go to a third country, in my case Australia. The Khmer Community of NSW Inc. sponsored my family because of my sick mother’s mental state, and my file was transferred to Granville Baptist Church for which I express my greatest appreciation. After thirteen months in a Thai refugee camp on arrival in Sydney I found life here like Heaven on earth, I felt that other refugees were experiencing the same feeling as me.

VI. Life in Australia

My knowledge of Australia was very limited apart from Colombo Plan scholarship students, a beautiful Opera House, beautiful apples, lovely grapes, vegemite, and that Australia is a huge island surrounded by sea. The first shock was cold weather, I never experienced cold weather, ice on the grass in the morning. In the East Hills hostel I found the information session provided by the Department of Immigration Health Education, welfare payments from Centrelink and other charity organisations were very useful for the new arrivals. For the first time, I felt I was at home with a proper, comfortable, warm blanket, heater and enjoyable Australian food. I felt very warm and secure for the first time in many years. What luxury to have such delicious food. My family loves lamb; I tried to get used to lamb for a long time, I can’t. When we moved out from the hostel, my mother looked a little happier because we could cook our own food.

VII. My Employment

Eighteen days after my arrival I was fortunate to gain a job as a Khmer interpreter with social security in Cabramatta which gave me a chance to understand more about the welfare system. Later on I won a position as a Pension Officer at Liverpool call centre and later on as Family Assistant Officer in the regional office. With my current job at Centrelink I meet all types of people, I always encourage the Khmer to learn English. Once their English improves, they need to try some part time work first and achieve full time later on. My brother, sister and I took some English classes at night at Granville TAFE. I came from a working class family; it was not hard for us to get a job. I did not find anything difficult in my working life in Australia compared with my past terrible life. Two months after arrival my sister and brother had gained full time employment, which made our mother very proud of us. Later I met Roger Kay when I went to apply for my second part time job in the car yard. He rang me and advised me that this was not the job for me. I asked why? He said a young woman who travelled home at night, was not safe. He asked me,